Let us hearken back to some basics, namely that in life there are those things that are essential, such as food, water, shelter, and so on. Then there are "nice to have" items, like that BMW, so very specifically in the teal paint scheme. If you don't have a teal BMW, your world will not come crashing down around your head, despite the fact that some of us react as if it were the case.
"Nice" in terms of characterizing a human being is decidedly not an essential quality. It is very much a "nice to have" element, and it is so only if the essential characteristics are present.
But what are those essentials in terms of human specifications? Sadly for us, there is no standard list, but I will hazard a guess at a few with which I believe most will agree. To wit:
- Trustworthiness
Well looky here. Surprisingly, I find myself at a loss to go further with the list at this time, but the one thing with which I have managed to dredge from the vaults of my mind, is a whopper. Seriously though, I could put up more, but this one alone is enough to subsume most of the rest, because almost all human interaction revolves around and is founded upon trust. Without it, the world falls into chaos, stops dead, and people begin going terminally hungry in short time.
And so I ask the question: what value is my being "nice", if you cannot trust me? "Nice" is nice to have.
From my perspective, I would rather as a friend an irritating, obnoxious stooge in whom my trust is comfortably placed, than the nicest person on the planet in whom I cannot be sufficiently certain that they will not shiv me one day while my back is turned.
In my world, and I would recommend this for yours as well, "nice" buys a man nothing whatsoever until he proves worthy of trust. All else equal, would I prefer one be "nice"? In some cases, yes, but in others, no. "Nice" tends to cause people to soften truths for the sake of niceness, the core aim of which is to avoid upsetting others. There are times when this is a prudent and kind approach to a situation. There are also times where this is the absolute worst possible thing. For example, a child's parent is dying or has died. Do we lie to them for the sake of not upsetting them with the grim reality? There may be exceptions, there usually are, but in general I suggest that the answer is a firm "no". The child will learn of the fate one day. Leaving them in the dark, so to speak, is detrimental from several viewpoints, not the least of which is the issue of, <AHEM>... trust.
Imagine lying to the child in question only to have to tell them the truth eventually. Imagine teelling them mommy is going to be fine and will be home soon, when in fact she has short time to live. Perhaps it's December and mom died in August. You have lied to the child and they know it. How will that effect trust? Nobody can predict it, but chances are far better than any reasonable man should want to risk that the effect will be highly negative. And so we see that niceness is not just mostly superficial and basically irrelevant to the affairs of the human world, we also see that it is potentially detrimental to what may be the single most prevailingly important factor between individual human beings.
Beware the Ides of Nice, for it is a multiply-headed serpent and deceiver of men. It buys little, yet costs much.
Until next time, please accept my best wishes.
No comments:
Post a Comment